Nothing like bread...especially Apple bread...baking in the oven on a winters day. The house smells wonderful! And this bread is to die for! SHARE THIS TO KEEP IT!! It is a KEEPER!!!! So tasty! Apple Praline Bread Ingredients: 1 cup sour cream 1 cup brown sugar 2 eggs 2 tsp vanilla 2 cups flour 2 tsp baking powder 1/2 tsp baking soda 1/2 tsp salt 1 1/2 cups Granny Smith apples, peeled and finely chopped 1 cup nuts (walnut or pecan or a combo), divided For the praline sauce: ¼ cup brown sugar and ¼ cup butter Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease a 9 x 5 x 3 inch loaf pan. Set aside. (I used stoneware loaf pan for perfect cooking) Using an electric mixer, beat together the sour cream, sugar, eggs and vanilla on low speed for a couple of minutes until well blended. Stop the mixer and then add in the flour, leavening agents and salt. Continue to beat on low until well combined. Fold in the apples and half the nuts into the batter. Transfer the batter into the greased loaf pan. Sprinkle the rest of the nuts on top and then press them lightly into the batter. Bake for about 60 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. Cool in the loaf pan for about 20-30 minutes and then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely. So it doesn't get too dark, I suggest using a light colored loaf pan. For the praline sauce: In a small sauce pan, place the butter and brown sugar. Using medium heat, bring to a boil. Lower the heat and then simmer lightly for about one minute, stirring constantly until the sauce thickens. Remove from heat and then drizzle over the bread. Cool completely.

Felling down

I haven't felt this down in a while. I found out today that my insurance policy most likely does not cover gastric bypass.

I haven't wanted to sit down and cry like this in a very long time. The hope that I would have the surgery soon is one of the biggest things that helps me keep my spirits up.

I don't know what to do. I can't afford $20,000 out-of-pocket. I guess one of my only options now is to look into hospitals in India or Mexico.

I'm in pain, but it's the good kind

I lost power in my house due to the wonderful "snowpocalypse" we just had. Finally got it back, so here I am!

I do have some bad news: I took advantage of the scale in the locker room at the gym, and weighed myself for the first time in more than a year. I weigh 316 pounds. I can't believe I've gotten that heavy. I'd probably be really down about it, but I'm staying positive and doing something about it.

Just got home from the free personal training session that came with my gym membership, and my ass kind of got kicked. I've always been pretty active, and thanks to the barn I'm strong like an ox, but I never realised that such a low-impact workout could do more than the heavy-duty weight training I used to do.

The trainer was great, and I think I'm going to try and scrounge up the cash to go see him about once a month. He had be doing things I never would have thought of, that didn't hurt my knees or my shoulders. He did say I was too hard on myself with a few things though, but when it comes to working out I don't think being a perfectionist is going to be a bad thing.

One movement I did have problems with was squatting. Why, you ask? because I have 25 years of muscle memory from horse-back riding, specifically posting, to try and override! you can't do a proper squat if you're keeping your spine ram-rod straight and perpendicular to the ground! Box squats however were a complete breeze, and I didn't even break a sweat on those!

I had fun, and look forward to hitting the gym again tomorrow to do some straight cardio - I only got in 20 minutes today, and I like to do about 45.

Age 24, 5'10", 300lbs

I don't want to die. I don't. I'm too young, have too many places I need to go see, and too many things I haven't gotten to do with my life, but I am slowly killing myself with my weight. That's why I'm starting this blog: to have a place where I will honestly chronicle this year of my life. The year I will have Roux-en-y Gastric Bypass.

No holds barred, no lies, no evasions. Just the truth.

I've always been the "Big Girl". Growing up I was always taller and bigger than my peers, and I didn't think anything of it until I was 9 and the kids in fourth grade started taunting me. Looking back now at pictures, I wasn't over-weight: I was inches taller and a little chubby, but not over-weight. But to my eyes I was suddenly a whale, and that's the way I've seen myself ever since.

I've steadily put on weight ever since. I've always been active (I have horses, and there is almost nothing more physically demanding than barn work and riding, plus I swam competitively and jogged), I've been on every diet you can think of, and several I hope you never will. Every time I would loose a few pounds, I would gain it back plus 10-20 pounds.

Now I'm 5'10" and almost 300 pounds. And I'm finally doing something about it. It's not been an easy decision, but I am in the beginning processes of Roux-en-Y Gastric Bypass. As soon as my new insurance card gets to me in a few weeks (Thank you ObabaCare!), I am marching off to the hospital of my choice and starting the pre-op appointments and classes. I hope to have the surgery at the end of June, July, or at the very latest the beginning of August. Who knows, maybe I'll be crafty and get the surgery during my seven week break between horse shows, lol!

In anticipation of surgery, I went and joined back up at my old gym today. I figured that if I start getting back in shape now then I'll have an easier recovery post-surgery, not to mention the added bonus of getting back in shape in time for horse-show season. I'm lucky that four or five of my good friends also joined the same gym, so I have work-out buddies this time around.

I can't really afford it, but I'll find a way to make it work.

That's all the time I have for now, but I'll be back to let you all know about tomorrow's workout.